A few months ago, I found a lump where a lump shouldn’t have been. Obviously, I was more than a little worried and made an appointment to see my family doctor. A preliminary exam was optimistic but I was told I would have to see a specialist and get a bunch of blood tests to confirm that this was just a benign lump.
Upon leaving the doctors office, I saw my life flash before my eyes… and then I saw the future and began to feel anxiety and a profound sadness at the idea that I wouldn’t be around to see my son live his life. 
I also thought about my own life: my dreams, my fears, my hopes and ideals, my successes and my failures. I wept that night. By 3 am, I decided it was high time I push my lingering fears aside and start living the purposeful life I have been planning since 2000. I scolded myself: No more EXCUSES!
I could hear my mom’s words ringing in my ears as I woke the next morning. As I teen, I used to complain a lot about what was lacking in my life and my mom would always say, be grateful at least you have your health. That used to make me so mad!!! I just didn’t get what she was talking about.
But on that cold November morning, I understood what she had meant. I didn’t feel sick but there was an off chance that I might be sick and that was enough to make me realize just how important my health is to me.
Over the next couple of months, I tried not to dwell on the negative and went about my business as usual. I didn’t tell everybody about “the Lump” and I tried not to to entertain dark thoughts. Instead, I focused on enjoying life and staying in the moment as much as I possibly could. I also loved more intensely and listened more attentively. Instead of thinking about peace, I allowed peace into my heart. My focus began to change… I felt different. The lump began disappearing on it’s own and although I was still worried about what they would find in my blood I began to realize that this was happening for a reason. My body was speaking to me. For the first time in a very long time, I started to listen.
I saw the specialist before the holidays but I had to wait till yesterday to get the results for my blood tests. I can’t say that I was particularly freaked out as I waited in the doctors office. But I did get there an hour and 15 minutes early…
The doctor smiled warmly as I entered her office.
I held my breath.
-Good news! she said, -You’re in perfect health!
Suddenly, the room seemed a bit brighter. Joy oh joy!!! Thank God and the Universe for my health!
I am so grateful I was able to see a doctor quickly and get the tests I needed. (Thanks to Canadian Universal health care) I’m extremely grateful for my health and I am also very grateful for the powerful life lesson I was given.
My heart goes out to those of you who suffer from a health problem and to all of you who don’t have access to health care and I promise that I will never again take my health for granted.
Be well dear ones.
