Finding our purpose… where to start ?!!?

Finding our purpose… where to start ?!!?

As I struggle to clearly define who I am and what my purpose is here on earth, I tend to look for defining moments in my life.

Although my past does provide me with clues and some insight on why I think and act the way I do, it really doesn’t have any bearing on the direction I want to take in my life today. Knowing that doesn’t make things easier unfortunately and I realize I’ve been going around in circles for years and that I am still right here at square one.

I understand now that the reason it has been so difficult for me to find and follow my true calling is that I’ve been silencing my inner voice for far too long.

Whose path are you walking on?

Like many of you, my parents planned out my path for me as a child, and even though I thought I was in charge of my life, it took several years of walking on their path pretty much against my will to realize I could step off and blaze my own trail. Don’t get me wrong; my parents love me very much and their intentions were good but I should have listened to my own inner voice right from the get go.

In my early twenties I began to systematically analyze and question everything I had been taught growing up. I also had to break all the illusions I had about life in general. I had to become intimately familiar with the way I was programmed by my parents and then by society in order to consciously reverse engineer and reprogram myself.

Does the daily grind get the better of us?

I think that if I had taken the opportunity to go and meditate under a tree for a year I would have progressed in leaps and bounds but like everyone else out there, I still had to live my life. I guess that’s when the split happened and when I started feeling really disconnected from my inner voice. My soul was ready to go into a new direction but my body wasn’t ready to cooperate as it’s main focus was to to eat and pay the rent. It sounds weird to say it like that, I know. But that is the best way I can explain it. Our souls know the way but our bodies have a mind of their own; the ego. Unfortunately, the ego often gets trapped by fear and social pressure and is often resistant to change.

What are the fears that stop you in your tracks?

8 years ago, I quit my high profile IT job on the spot when my boss told me he owned me and my time. I had no plan for what came next. I knew there had to be more to life than working to make money. I was not my job and I certainly didn’t want to be a corporate tool or slave to anyone.

Although I have made huge changes to my lifestyle since then and although I have come a long way, the number one fear that halts me in my tracks is this: If I follow my true calling, will I make enough money to eat and pay the rent.

I hate to admit it but this one question has haunted me for the past 8 years and has caused me to stay in brainstorm mode. I have pages and pages and countless books and CD’s full of ideas I have come up with. I’ve written up no less than 5 business plans and I’ve found countless ways of distracting myself from my purpose. I started a business 6 years ago doing web consulting and voice overs and achieved moderate success; enough to be at home and to devote myself to my son as he made his way through the first five years of his life. Now that he’s in school I have more time on my hands and I know that it’s time for me to  get out of brainstorm mode and to create a plan of action.

How can we help each other?

There are a million reasons why we don’t take the next step on our journey. Distractions abound and it’s easy to loose our way and get stuck in the mud. But make no mistake about it; we are not here on earth for our bodies to work like slaves for corporate giants only to go out and to consume earth’s resources till we expire.

We all have a greater purpose, whether we know it or not. We are here to love, to create, to evolve and to help one another as we make our way through life.

For me, realizing that is a great place to start.