Avoxtar 3.0

It’s time to cut to the chase. Isn’t it? I mean, fundamentally… why are we here? Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? Why are you here? What do you dream about?

Sometimes, there are so many things that go through my mind and I have so many things to say that I don’t even know where to begin. I’m always tempted to go right to the beginning and then I wonder if the beginning has any relevance at all. Because this instant is the only thing that matters. How am I using this very instant of my life? How are you using it? We waste so many instants, hours and years over the course of our lives and I can’t help but wonder… if we consciously used every single instant of our life towards a single goal, how many mountains could we move?

And what if we could unite with others who share the same goal and just simply focus our intent together and make small actions together, how quickly would the world change?

Sometimes, thinking about these things freaks me out. When I think of all the power we all have inside ourselves, I think the world could change instantly.

But the thing is that knowing what we want is usually what takes the most time to discover. There is so much out there and inside ourselves that it’s a challenge to stay focused. Isn’t it? I think that ultimately, this is why we eventually just get into a safe little routine… we feel comfortable because we are, at least, doing something… but really are we doing things that matter?

To me our world is an illusion.. there is so much more than meets the eye and I’ve become so focused on seeing beyond that I’ve lost interest in the routine. Like Neo, I’ve unplugged myself from the machine, only now, I hover between 2 realities… Should I get a job, buy a house, buy in to capitalism and plan for my retirement? Or should I sit under a tree and meditate for the rest of my life?

I’ve always been an “all or nothing at all” kind of person so this is a really tough choice to make. For one thing, I can’t just explore my spirituality as deeply as I would like to because I still have to put food on the table and I still want to go out, have fun and buy things. But at the same time, I don’t want to be a part of the corporate, capitalistic and (mostly) unconscious majority that lives in North-America.

I feel torn between two worlds you see. I’ve been in this state since 2000. Wow. I’ve just realized that I’ve been sitting on a fence for 7 years. Let me tell you that this is a very, very, very uncomfortable position.

I’ve tried living with one foot in each world but that doesn’t work either. There can no longer be a between who I am as a person and what I do to earn a living anymore. I have no idea how this is going to be interpreted by others and how this will affect my business but this is who I am and this is what I must do.

This is how I choose to use this instant. I’m jumping off the fence and never looking back.

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